Hey you guys! Speidi got hitched for reals over the weekend. Huh? Aren’t they having problems on their MTV reality show The Hills? Whatevs!! Heidi and Spencer are now officially married. Blah Blah Blah.

BUT in typical media alert fashion, Speidi turned their wedding into a press product placement ad. Milk it Speidi. Marriage kills press.

Heidi Montag wore a $19.000 Monique L’huillier wedding gown. Hmm, celebs wear Monique all the time, how often is the price of the dress quoted in the press release?

Neil Lane’s people must have approved one million dollars worth of jewels just for the name drop.

I’m a huge fan of Monique L’huillier’s and have dressed many a Monqiue bride. Heidi’s strapless chiffon with the many overlay’s is just not the dress I would have chosen. I commend Mrs. Pratt for not going over the top sexy as she does in real life. Add a bonnet and she could be mistaken for Little Bo Peep.

The moral to this fable is: Wearing the most expensive dress and jewels does not make you a more beautiful bride. Wearing sweatpants to cut your cake in? Goes with out saying.

Style tip- Don’t do different on your wedding day. Stay true to your own style.

Double style tip- Do a practice run on hair and makeup before your big day. Then photograph the results in the light you are getting married in. Especially if it’s a day wedding.

Triple style tip-Do not spend money you don’t have. It may be one of the most important days of your life but not the only one. Don’t get into debt for LOVE.

Final style tip- Ebay, Sample sales, dresses worn once. Get creative, you have a wedding to produce.

Why does every bride want to wear a strapless gown? Must be all that damn Cinderella. Since Cindy did this to you I gotta play self-appointed fairy god mother and make sure you make the best choice for the least amount of money. Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhh.

I am SO not mad at this Nicole Miller strapless mermaid gown. In fact, I kind of think it looks like a luscious seven layer wedding cake. Good enough to eat. Here are two elements I love about this dress.

First-The price is RIDICULOUS! At $250 bucks. C’mon now you’ve got a wedding to pay for.

Second-Love, Love the icy grey. If it were my wedding, I’d put my bridesmaid’s all in white and just so you know I really would.
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Style Tip- Once you’ve tied the knot with that man of yours, I would shorten it just a hair and pair with jeweled/grommet sandals. Top off the dress with a little grey cardigan for super girly-pretty- maxi dress-chic.

Double style tip-After you’ve married the man, worked the summer maxi dress, get ready for holiday. Shorten to cocktail length. Take the remaining material and wrap your self up in it.

Triple style tip- Can you handle more? Wear the groovy wrap with a pair of boyfriend jeans, wife-beater and your wedding heels.

Now, that’s the way to keep the party going long after the honeymoon’s over.

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-Barbra Horowitz